Abraham Lincoln Posts Critical Review of Ford's Theater on Yelp

Demon Possession Captured Live on C-SPAN

US House stenographer gets dragged out by security after screaming about Freemasons:

What to hear what she said? Click here.

Romania Successfully Builds World's Ugliest Car

It's called the Ghe-O Rescue:

Beloved Computer Game Available for Download on Website of Questionable Repute

Frogapult, the classic computer game from the 90s, is available for download on some weird Russian website.

I'd recommend trying it on someone else's computer to see if it's safe. 

Detailed Description of Death Once Deemed an Appropriate Topic for Children's Story

Here is an excerpt from the collection of German children's stories titled Struwwelpeter. It has been featured on 'The Office' by character, Dwight Schrute. This particular story is titled "The Dreadful Story of Harriet and the Matches."

Summary: Harriet, a small child, plays with matches. She sets herself on fire and burns to death. Her smoldering corpse is extinguished by the tears of grief from her cats (see illustration below).

 

Failed Headline/Photo Combination

Should you buy a Corolla or a Civic? I'll answer that question with another question: why is there a picture of a Honda Accord and a Toyota Corolla?

Funny Scene from 'Malcolm in the Middle' -- Cats ate her face.

That last post reminded me of this classic episode of 'Malcolm in the Middle'

Police Make Gruesome Discovery in Kentucky Home

So-called "hybrid wolf-dogs" ate her corpse: 

Urban Dictionary Finally Accepted Something I Submitted.

Here's my definition:

Prions in New Hampshire

Prions are believed to be the cause of death for one individual in New Hampshire, USA. The patient most likely had sporadic Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD). This is not to be confused with the variant form (vCJD). vCJD is usually associated with consuming meat products of animals suffering from spongiform ecphalopathies (e.g. "mad cow disease"). Too bad this wasn't a case of vCJD. That really would have been newsworthy.     

Most Practical Use of $1000

Note that it comes with an autographed photo of Tom Dickson.

Science-Related Humor

All of these things are available on T-shirts. You would have to be kind of messed up to wear any of these shirts.

Highlights from The Onion

Here are some of my favorite things from The Onion. You can visit their website here.

                                                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                                 

FYI

You may have noticed advertisements on the sidebar of this blog. Please note that I do not personally endorse these products. I feel the need to make this post because I recently noticed the ads were featuring products and/or services that I find detestable. Namely, there was a promotion for some pathetic anime stuff.

Funny Response During Final Jeopardy

I remember seeing this on TV. Now it's a classic!

"Who [is] Ice T?"

Funny News Interview

Woman accurately describes hail storm:

In case you missed something, here's a transcript of the interview:

"Man, them jokers was big--size of a quarter, dog gone! [It sounded like] Kapooya! Kapooya! And boy, that hail just came in. I looked at my, opened my door, and I looked out my door, and it started hitting me in my head! I took off running, ran to my restroom, and then I called my mama to see what she alright!"


Sure enough, someone made a remix video of the interview. Here it is:




















I wonder what the local newspaper had to say about this incident. I don't feel like looking for an article on Google, so I'll write my own:

                                                                                                                                                         

Resident Frightened by Recent Hail Storm, Takes Cover in Restroom and Calls Mother

Ralphsville, TEXAS--Local resident, Michelle Clark, became startled after hearing noises which she describes as, "Kapooya, Kapooya!" Unbeknownst to her, a severe hail storm was passing over the Brookshire apartment complex. Clark, unfamiliar with weather phenomena such as hail, was reportedly stricken in the head by frozen ice pellets as she opened her front door. She then instinctively fled from the doorway, and took shelter in her restroom. Once secure, she called her mother. Clark commented, "It is at perilous times like these when we must be cognizant of our elders. I telephoned my mother to ensure her well-being." Her mother, 87-year-old Wilma Carlisle, was the sole casualty of the storm. When asked to explain why she chose the restroom as her place of refuge, Clark denied any response.

                                                                                                                                                          

How to Draw an Icosagon

An icosagon in a 20-sided polygon. If you've ever wondered how to draw one, then just pay attention to this animation I found on Wikipedia. This shows you how to draw a regular one (with all equal sides and all congruent angles). It pretty much just looks like a circle. To me, that flowery thing is much more impressive than drawing a regular icosagon. When I tried this at home, it pained me to erase that part. But, it wouldn't be a proper icosagon if it had a huge flower in the middle.   

Classical Conditioning on 'The Office'

While I'm on the topic of psychology (see previous post), I might as well mention this video. This is something I used for a class assignment like three years ago:

This episode of 'The Office' demonstrates a specific type of learning called classical conditioning. This type of learning involves pairing a neutral stimulus with a unconditioned stimulus (UCS) known to evoke a specific emotion or behavior. If the conditioning is successful, exposure to the neutral stimulus will bring about the behavior caused by the UCS even when the UCS is absent. This behavior is called the conditioned response.

Extremely Weird Sigmund Freud Video

You might not find this very funny if you haven't taken an intro to psych class yet. If you have, then enjoy it! It's really weird and disturbing!

No wonder why there are so many psychology majors. Who wouldn't want to go to class if all you do is watch this stuff? 

Good Books to Read

1. The Pathological Protein by Philip Yam (2003)

This is an excellent read if you're interested in diseases and whatnot. The author gives a general overview of transmissible spongiform encephalopathies (TSEs) and their causative agent, the prion. I wouldn't recommend citing this work if you're writing a scientific paper, but it's definitely worth reading. There's a huge amount of background information in the introduction chapters. You can probably skip this if you've taken a few college-level biology classes. I also didn't bother reading the chapters about TSEs affecting deer and elk. I really couldn't care less about some decrepit, senile deer running around aimlessly in a forest preserve. Anyways, this book is great because it explains how Mad Cow Disease started and how it was transmitted to humans. And it mentions how brain-eating cannibals from Papua New Guinea contracted kuru. Who wouldn't be interested in that? These kuru victims are the closest thing to zombies that have ever and will ever exist. Enjoy learning about prions! (They're by far my favorite pathogens!)

2. Packrat: A Tale of Compulsive Hoarding by Tom Hixson (2010)

This book is not for the faint of heart. The author spares no detail when describing the living conditions of an individual suffering from an extreme case of obsessive compulsive hoarding syndrome. The hoarder, Robert, literally kept everything--even things that are meant to be flushed down the toilet. Additionally, the book explains the possible causes and cures of this mental illness. By far, the best chapters are the ones that explain the disorder from a neuroscientific perspective. The brain scans are the best part!

This book is really obscure, and it's haphazardly thrown together. Also, it looks like it was probably printed in some middle-aged guy's mom's basement. Nevertheless, it's a great read. Get a copy if you ever have a chance.  

Someone should probably replace those light bulbs.

List of Foods that Still Have trans-Fats

Everyone already knows that trans-fats are evil, but there are still a few things out there that have them. Here's some that I can think of:

1. Cake Frosting and Glazes  

Most of these products have 1.5g of trans-fats per serving. 

2. Milk
I should point out that milk contains a negligible amount of trans-fats. That's why you won't see it listed on the nutritional label.


I can't think of any other foods that have trans-fats, so I guess I'll just write about their chemistry. In the simplest sense, a trans-fat is the trans isomer of a fatty acid. If you don't know about cis-trans isomerism, I'll briefly explain. First of all, this only applies to double bonds. A molecule exhibits cis isomerism when its hydrogens are both on the same side of the double bond. Trans isomerism is the opposite; the hydrogens are across from each other. Here's an example:

Both of these structures represent the chemical called 1,2-dichloroethene. However, they differ slightly. The structure on the left has both hydrogens on the same side of the double bond, and the one of the right has hydrogens across from each other. Therefore, the one on the left is the cis isomer, and the one on the right is the trans isomer. 

The same concept applies to trans-fats. Here are two more chemical structures: 

    

Both of these chemicals have a formula of C₁₈H₃₄O_2. They only differ in stereochemistry (the spatial arrangement of the atoms within a molecule). The top structure is the trans isomer because the hydrogens are on opposite sides of the double bond, and bottom structure is the cis isomer. You may recognize the top and bottom structures as elaidic acid and oleic acid, respectively. These are the fatty acids that you typically encounter in food items. Elaidic acid is most likely the trans-fat found in the cake frosting above. Its cis isomer, oleic acid, is usually found in plant products like olive oil, for instance. 

No one knows why the trans isomers of fatty acids are so bad for people. According to Wikipedia, humans don't have an enzyme capable of metabolizing the trans isomer, so it builds up in arteries and kills people. I have no idea if that's true or not. There weren't and citations in the article that supported this claim. 

By the way, I gave up italicizing the words cis and trans. I have better things to do with my life than to go back and fix it.     

Cooking Lessons from a Schizophrenic

If you've ever wondered how to make tacos and/or fruit salad, these two videos won't really help. But, if you've ever wondered what someone with schizophrenia does in the kitchen, this might answer your question:

I hope this guy washed his hands before working with food. If not, then this is really disgusting.

Here's a video about making fruit salad:

Visit the HowToBasic channel on YouTube if you want to further your culinary expertise. 

Tracking Down Your Old Car

It's been almost two years since I traded in my old car, and I frequently wonder where it is. I can't imagine what kind of person would ever want to buy that thing. I tried typing the VIN into Google, but I never get any search results. Anyways, one day I stumbled across this website that's completely focused on finding your old cars. As it turns out, this site isn't very useful. I look up my old car, and it said it was "last sighted" in my hometown. I'm assuming no one ever bought my car, and it ended up in a junk yard or something.

The whole point of posting this has nothing to do with my old car. At this point, I really couldn't care less about it. To further prove how useless this website is, I entered the VIN of my new car. This is the picture it gave me:

According to this, the previous owner of my car lived a few hundred miles of the coast of Nigeria. However, when I moused over the green dot, it said, "somewhere in Florida." I suppose this is a little more logical. Actually, I vaguely recall reading that the car was previously registered in Florida on the CarFax sheet I got from the dealer. I just thought I would share this. Please take a moment to admire the geographic accuracy of this map. 

If you want to find out where your old car is or where your current car was, you can try this website. It's called checkmyride.com. By the way, I blocked out my VIN and the name of the town where my car is currently registered because I don't want the internet to know where I live and what kind of car I have.  

Most Ridiculous Infomercials Ever

I've spent a significant amount of time wondering why these items exist and who buys them. Here are some of the funniest ones that come to mind:

   

1. Perfect Polly: 

Notable quotation: "All the joy and none of the mess!" 

2. WaxVac

Wow! Color-coded silicon tips for every member of the family. I call the green one!

3. Zoomies: 

I don't have anything good to say about this one. These things are just really messed up.

4. Rollie Eggmaster: 

There's just something weird about watching a cooked egg being extruded from this thing. I've suddenly lost my appetite. Visit the YouTube page if you want to read all of the obscene comments people left about this video.

Carrots

Someone once told me that baby carrots are really just normal carrots chopped into smaller pieces. I thought that was a lie until now. I was eating some baby carrots when I came across this one:

Apparently, this chunk of carrot escaped the machine that forms baby carrots from larger ones. Now I have proof that baby carrots don't exist naturally. Anyways, this reminds me of something interesting:

Why are carrots orange?

I'm sure everyone has asked this question at some point, but the answer is always indirect. You'll probably hear something like, "They're orange because they have a lot of beta-carotene in them." Well, if anyone has ever wondered why beta-carotene is orange, I can answer that. Here's the chemical structure of beta-carotene: 

beta-Carotene

One of the most obvious characteristics of beta-carotene is its conjugation. Generally, this means that the molecule has alternating single and double bonds. Furthermore, it means that the p-orbitals are overlapping, and electron delocalization is occurring. In other words, the electrons in beta-carotene (and other conjugated systems) are special. These special, delocalized electrons are capable of absorbing photons with wavelengths that correspond to visible light. The reason why carrots are orange is because beta-carotene is capable of absorbing photons with a certain wavelength; this causes humans to perceive them as orange. 

FYI: You might have noticed the structure of beta-carotene closely resembles that of vitamin A. This is because beta-carotene can be a metabolic precursor to vitamin A (aka retinol).   

Upsetting News Articles Involving Birds

Here's a couple of news stories that got my attention. This first one is kind of funny:

Click here if you want to read the whole article, but the title pretty much says it all.

Here's another unfortunate news story involving birds. This one's a little more macabre:

 Read the whole article here.

The Vernacular of Today's Youth

Here's something I found in an old textbook meant of education majors. I guess this class was supposed to teach people how to communicate with high school kids. It's probably from the 1990s, so it's a little out dated now. Even so, I had a "crunk time" reading this.

My Favorite TV Commercials

Here are two hilarious commercials you may have seen on TV. Now that I think about it, they're getting kind of old. This first one was popular back in 2010, I think. It's for Sonic, the fast-food restaurant.

  

Everything about this commercial is disturbingly funny. It's a shame that not many people will ever know about it. This was for some holiday lottery drawing back in 2009. (Please watch this in full-screen mode to fully appreciate the huge gap between the carpet cleaner's teeth.)

Things I Thought Were Extinct 

Did you ever see a commercial for something and think, "I can't believe they still make those." Well here's a list of things I thought you couldn't buy anymore/companies that went out of business/organisms that were extinct: 

1. Mitsubishi Galant 

This car has looked exactly the same since the 2004 model year. It's shocking that you can buy a brand new car in 2013 that looks just like something from 2004.

One of these cars is a 2004, the other can be purchased brand new right now. Can you tell the difference? The grill is the only significant change. The headlights and everything else pretty much look the same. In case you're still wondering, the red one is almost ten years old, and the silver one is the current model.

2. Blockbuster Stores

I saw one not too long ago, so that dispels any myth that they're completely gone.

3. Kmart (aka Lame Mart or K-Fart)

I just saw a commercial for their new layaway program. 

4. Mavis Beacon Typing Program

I'm sure most people remember being forced to use this software at some point in their life. The rule was you have to play Mavis Beacon for 20 minutes before playing Oregon Trail. Anyways, you can still buy the software on Amazon.com.

I'm just curious as to why there are three different actresses portraying Mavis. What happens to them? 

5. The Coelacanth

I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was to hear that some scientists found one of these things swimming around Indonesia in the late 1990s. I thought they were gone forever.

According to Wikipedia, the Coelacanth cannot be eaten because its flesh exudes an oil that makes it taste foul. How would anyone ever know that if only one or two have been seen in the last hundred years? 

6. Pepsi Blue

This stuff actually is extinct. You'll never, ever have another taste of it in your life. 

Funny Grammar Error 

I was at the grocery store a few months back and saw this on the shelf:

Apparently, this is the generic brand of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." It must have taken a clever mind to come up with the store brand title, "This is not Butter, it's Butteriffic." Unfortunately, it's a prime example of a comma splice. The person who wrote this tried to join two independent clauses with a mere comma. Here's a few suggestions to remedy the problem:

-This is not butter. It's butteriffic!

-This is not butter; it's butteriffic!

I'm no grammar expert, but I know a run-on sentence when I see one. Anyways, I've tried this stuff; it's not so bad. (Observe the correct usage of the semicolon.)      

On My Bookshelf

I'll introduce myself by listing whatever's on the bookshelf closest to me. This should give some insight into my mind and ultimately what this blog will be about.

Starting from right to left:

-Twelve Diseases That Changed Our World, Sherman

-The Pathological Protein, Yam 

-The Short Guide to Writing about Biology, Pechenik

-Othello, Shakespeare 

-Five Great Short Stories, Chekhov

-The Kreutzer Sonata, Tolstoy

-Notes from the Underground, Dostoyevsky

-Chekhov: The Essential Plays

-The Stranger, Camus

-A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Joyce

-The Bluest Eye, Morrison

-Macbeth, Shakespeare 

-Hiroshima, Hersey

-Siddhartha, Hesse

-The Catcher in the Rye, Salinger 

-Frankenstein, Shelley

-The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald

-1984, Orwell

-The Grapes of Wrath, Steinbeck

-On the Road, Kerouac

-Bantam New College Italian and English Dictionary 

-Essential Italian Grammar, Ragusa

-TI-84 Instruction Booklet

-Typee, Melville

-The Invisible Man, Wells

-Something Wicked This Way Comes, Bradbury

-Dracula, Stoker

-Fahrenheit 451, Bradbury

-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Kesey

-Heart of Darkness, Conrad

-The World According to Clarkson, Clarkson

-Motorworld, Clarkson

-Packrat: A Tale of Compulsive Hoarding, Hixson

-Phantoms in the Brain, Ramachandran and Blakeslee

-Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe

-Bhagavadgita

I was forced to read most of these books for school, or I added them to my cart on Amazon.com just to reach $25 and get free shipping. I am by no means a literature freak. By the way, I never actually read the Bhagavadgita; I don't know why I have that on my shelf. 

I know, the titles should be italicized, but I don't have time for that.